An apologetic old program

On 04.26.10, In programming, By Derek

This gave me a good chuckle — I ran into this recently on the old systems I still work on (yes, this comes from a terminal session!):

          Transaction Editing Database
              Charge Batch Proof

THIS ACTIVITY PROVIDES DETAIL VOUCHER INFORMATION BY
SELECTED BATCH NUMBER(S).

     HOW DO YOU WANT YOUR BATCH PROOF SORTED
               A. BY NUMBER
               B. BY PATIENT

          PLEASE SELECT A OR B : B

Sorry this portion of the program is being fixed !!!

Please selection A from the option menu.

Thank you for using the TE Batch Proof System

In short, I selected option B, only to be presented with the last three lines above.  This program first apologizes that B is not a working option and is currently being fixed (which is news to me – the last time I can tell that any programmer did any significant work to it was 10 years ago).  Then, it directs me to option A (why even bother listing an option B in the first place?).  And then perhaps my favorite part, it thanks me for using this system, apparently not realizing that it neglected to produce any useful output for me.

So, apparently, what we can learn from this is that if you don’t plan to eventually finish your program, at least make it sound like a pleasant convenience store worker.

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More on email ettiquette and the habits that drive me crazy

On 04.01.10, In email, By Derek

Outlook logoI’m so chalk full of email pointers that I thought that I’d share some more. Incidentally, not all of these are as relatable to the new forms of internet communication as my last list (e.g., the idea of “read receipts” doesn’t quite make sense in something like Facebook… though they might surprise me one day with another one of their privacy-challenged new features). And so, here’s another list of email DON’Ts: (more…)

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How to NOT tick off your coworkers via email

On 03.19.10, In email, By Derek

Email send buttonMy last few posts have been very instructional and aimed at a very specific audience, so let’s take a look at something from which we all could benefit. Being that it’s Friday and a beautiful day outside (hopefully your weather is gorgeous, too), let’s all roll up our sleeves, unbutton that top button, and enjoy a topic that’s both obvious and often overlooked at the same time. It’s time… to talk about email etiquette. (more…)

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Making a splash… page.

On 03.08.10, In web design, By Derek

Splash of waterIf you were with us last time, we were discussing the numbering of a product called Studio Enterprise by Component One.  I raised some concerns about their versioning scheme, stating that it likely would raise lots of confusion among their userbase.  This time, I’d like to focus on a splash page on their site that is advertising this product.  Again, let me make the disclaimer that I am not reviewing the product itself or making any claims about it being good or bad.  I’m simply using the advertising on their site as a lesson in web design.

Since there’s a good chance the page will eventually come down or change (as it is, after all, advertising a product labeled “2009″, and the last time I checked, we were well into the year 2010), here is a small screenshot of the splash page in question (if this link does eventually kick the metaphorical bucket, just imagine this image blown up to 960 pixels wide and 1050 pixels tall):

Splage page ad

The splash page advertising Studio Enterprise 2009 v3.

(more…)

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How NOT to do software versioning

On 03.01.10, In software, By Derek

Inadvertently, I recently came across a software product that seemed rather odd to me.  It, in turn, also led me to a web site that I thought would work great for a quick web design lesson, but we’ll get to in my next posting.

Before I delve into what struck me as odd regarding this software, though, let me first point out that I in no way endorse this product, nor am I implying that it’s bad.  Frankly, I don’t have a use for it and don’t plan to test it out. In fact, it may actually be the best thing since Windows XP/Windows 7/Mac OS X (circle one).  That’s none of my concern, and I want to make it clear up front that this is not a review or critique of the actual software being discussed. In fact, I’m actually going to be focusing more on the advertising of said product.

So, what exactly is it that caught my eye?  I was looking at a page on Stack Overflow and noticed this ad at the top of the page:

Studio Enterprise ad

The noteworthy ad

(more…)

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